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Successful contacting on flirt & chat sites

Successful Online Dating: Establishing Contact
Successful Flirting Via Online Personals

So, you’ve just set up your profile on a dating site and are ready to flirt and chat! Now you’re probably wondering just how you approach someone or, indeed, if there are any additional rules or etiquette attached. Well, look no farther!

We have provided you with a few tips that can drastically increase your chances of success and how you can respond to online personals requests. Before we do, here’s a couple of things that can be helpful to keep in mind:

  • Aim to gain the confidence and arouse the interest of the person that you are contacting.
  • Present yourself frankly and honestly so that your contact can get a good and clean impression of who you are.
  • Try to tune in to the same wavelength right from the start. Have a close look at the profile of the single you want to contact and respond to it in a similar way.
  • Compliments are always appealing! But please don’t blurt anything out right away.
  • Stay positive when flirting!
  • No criticism during your online flirt. Some smart alecks think they have to present themselves as particularly educated, intellectual and terrific by criticizing the counterpart. This never ever works!
  • Fibbing is also unwelcome in online flirts.
  • Self-confidence and self-irony are in demand.
  • “No risk, no fun” also applies to flirting.
  • Don’t think too much. Just do it. Online flirting can be sooo exciting!

So, Let’s Go!: How do I Respond to the Messages I Get?

Tip #1: Emotional or rational type?

If someone appears to be a little too emotional, forward or cold, then consider what kind of impression this makes on you. First messages can be a little dodgy, and some people may not be quite so sure how to begin. It’s always a good idea to message back and forth a little bit in order to get a better idea of who the person is.

Tip #2: Be Direct!

But try not to be pushy. If you get the impression that the other user has lost interest, just ask. Of course, don’t send a simple question mark and for the love of God, don’t send message after message after message. Bombarding them with mail is just going to leave a bad impression and in most cases will not get you a response.

Tip #3: Avoid misunderstandings.

It’s clear that writing can’t always be as expressive as spoken communication, so when flirting online make sure to keep things somewhat light. If you believe that there has been a misunderstanding, don’t be afraid to ask. Giving the right impression is always a good idea!

Tip #4: Be cheerful.

Contact your flirt partner in a kind, polite and cheerful way, at best with a sense of humor. You probably aren’t going to get anywhere by acting like a tosser. If you do happen to be in a foul humor, then it’s probably best to wait until you feel better before contacting any singles!

Tip #5: Be attentive.

This is important. Make sure to read their dating profile attentively and thoroughly. Of course, you’re only human so you won’t remember everything. However: try to remember a few points. Make use of similarities in order to ask questions and show real interest in the other person.

Tip #6: Chat.

On most dating platforms and apps nowadays, there is usually a handy chat feature. If you’re going to use this to introduce yourself, then make sure that the other person is actually online (this is usually shown, though not always). Some sites have a ‘chat request’ button, so keep that in mind!

Tip #7: NO-GO: Former relationships.

Seriously. This is not the time to be talking about your ex. When it comes to online dating, you are trying to meet people in order to form a new relationship. Yes, we all have baggage, but it’s good to keep it out of the conversation at least for the first while!

Tip #8: Stay exciting:

Don’t let your first chat go on forever - half an hour passes by quickly. Try to hold back your enthusiasm and whet the other’s “appetite for more”.

Phone Up First!

It is quite common these days to simply meet up after chatting for a while. Some people actually prefer to call beforehand, whilst many more have even resorted to using video chat (again, such features are often available on a wide number of dating sites). If you want to get an even better impression of your match before you meet them, this is the best way to do it!

Asking for a Date

Whether chatting through text, video or via telephone… It doesn’t matter what, asking for date is pretty simple. If you don’t feel like being too direct, you can also suggest something exciting to do. “There’s a concert on at (whatever place), fancy coming along?” or “There’s this bar I’ve been dying to try out, but I don’t like going to pubs on my own. Come join me if you like!” There are a thousand ways to formulate such question, but acting in a friendly and relatively casual manner will often result in the best outcome!

It’s Getting Serious: The First Date

A bit of dressing up isn’t going to hurt when you finally get that first date. Again, impressions are important (especially the first, in-person impression!). Also make sure to dress for the venue you’re going to: there’s no need to go over-the-top formal. Just relax, take a deep breath and remember that your date is probably as nervous as you are!

Henning Wiechers
has been observing the UK dating market since 2007. He is among the top opinion leaders in the industry.

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